Attachment

I had an interesting conversation with a friend today about attachment. As I've continued to think on that conversation I think I have decided that attachment is likened to the word 'love' in the sense that it can have many meanings and interpretations. The conversation started because of the mutual feeling that I was getting to attached to my friend. But now I argue that the problem wasn't that I'm attached, it's that I may be fostering an unhealthy attachment. I think we are all attached to others in different ways, and thus the need for different meanings of that word.

I'm attached to my daughter, but is that wrong? No way! She is part of me, she is what keeps me going on those days when I just want to quit. How would you define that attachment? I'm attached to my friend because we have a long history together and because who knows why, but the cosmos seem to want us to stay friends. I'm attached to another friend, much the same way as the former, but the attachment is different. I've never felt like it could verge on unhealthy.

So, that brings us to the inevitable question. What or how should we define an attachment that is too much; that is unhealthy? I think part of that answer actually lies within us, within how we feel. If I feel like I'm losing myself, my abilitly to decide what I want for myself and not what I think the other person wants, then I'm probably exibiting an unhealthy attachment. If I begin to feel myself wanting to change or force another person to feel the way I do or meet certain expectations then, again, that is unhealthy.

So, in the end my friend and I may still disagree about attachments and whether it's OK to have them, but I can say for myself I think the healthy ones are perfectly fine, normal, in fact important to being human.